A poster in another thread mentioned he had started drinking again because of boredom. Dealing with alcoholism.
That's always been my problem. I can stop drinking, and within a few days start to feel really good physically because of sleeping better, less hangover headaches, etc.
After a couple of months, I start to feel this build up of tension or whatever. I just get incredibly bored with feeling the same way every day, never feeling immensely happy or immensely sad or whatever. I just feel kind of numb.
So, I'll give in an go on a bender just to feel that carefree, joyous feeling you sometimes briefly get when you're drunk, which - since I'm an alcoholic - leads into drinking every night again.
I'm 50, and at a point in my life where I know that if I want to live another 25-30 years, I've got to stop drinking. For those of you who have stopped successfully, how do you get over the hump here?
Am also 50 and an alcoholic. Am dealing with severe relapses and long, potentially fatal benders.
There are some lively GLBT AA meetings where I live and I've made some great sober friends with whom I've hung out. When I stop doing that, I go on horrible benders and just wallow in self-pity. When sober, I feel and look great.
For me, the dt's I'm experiencing now are simply not worth doing this ever again.
The last time I bought pot was about 20 years ago and I had a regular supplier.
Like I can just walk up to some stranger I think might sell pot and ask them if I can buy.
Not only that, how does a person find a reliable seller? One that isn't selling crappy stuff.
booze, you just walk into a store and walk out.
In the beginning, you need to replace the drinking with another PLEASURABLE activity.
Don't worry about calories, cost, or "quality" of the activity.
If cookies gets you through the night, then eat cookies.
If reading the National Enquirer does it for you, then read the National Enquirer.
Dealing with alcoholism in a relationship
Don't judge yourself or do the old "instead of drinking, I'm going to TRAIN FOR A MARATHON!!!"
For me, books, movies, and home design magazines will keep me pleasantly absorbed in activity and I don't miss drinking.
None of these activities is going to set the world on fire, but then that's not the point.
After coming to the conclusion I drank too much, I stopped drinking heavily 25 years ago. I didn't drink at all for the first 20 years. I now enjoy an occasional glass of wine or two at the most.
Here are some alternatives to medicating with alcohol that might work:
1. Take up a sport that requires time to master, one that you can enjoy as a passion.
2. See a good therapist and figure out why you are medicating with alcohol.
3. Build some new relationships with people who are healthy. This requires dumping heavy drinkers from your list of friends.
Boredom after stopping drinking- when you have a problem? Most alcoholics, if not all, that I know, had lives that were beyond boredom. Their careers where going down the drain, as was their health, and many were losing and alienating friends and family. Among those I know who are staying sober and recovering, boredom is not a problem.
Boredom is a state of mind. If you are bored, there is something wrong with you- making yourself drunk (dummber etc) may give you the short term illusion of not being bored- but trust me, you are boring- or rather, you are in a state of being that is not fun anyone around you, if not yourself.
If you think you have a problem with drinking, then you do. So stop or continue and see how much more misery you can stand. Get help, a shrink, a trusted mentor, AA is great. It is not remotely a place of "religious pretenses. You do not have to believe in God at all. You DO have to believe that you cannot control your drinking- and be 'willing' to take advice and support from others who have successfully stopped. A cliche in the rooms of AA: GOD = good orderly direction.
Lots of people have lots to say about AA. The only people who really know anyting about it, are drunks who attend their meetings regularly. Others who think they know either do not need AA (good for them) or have not been to meetings, or cannot or will not stop drinking. Perhaps they need to get more desparate, and perhaps they will eventually destroy their lives, as do almost all alcoholics if they cannot get sober.
[quote]After a couple of months, I start to feel this build up of tension or whatever. I just get incredibly bored with feeling the same way every day, never feeling immensely happy or immensely sad or whatever. I just feel kind of numb.
OP, I have solid, long-term sobriety but this was the hardest thing for me to get past. I relapsed for nearly 10 years, giving in eventually to the bored restlessness because I couldn't live with it. I came to realize it was an insidious form of craving and that it always came at fairly predictable times in my recovery, about every three months.
Once I identified the pattern, it was not that difficult to break. I planned activities for those times so I would be around recovering or non-drinking friends doing things I enjoyed. It only took two times before the relapse pattern was broken.
To get sober and stay that way, we have to learn to take care of ourselves in new ways.
Best of luck. If I can do it after believing I was hopeless, so can you.
The most comprehensive studies done on the effectiveness of AA reveal that it has only a 5% success rate. Fact.
5% is also the rate of annual spontaneous remission, or those who quit entirely on their own with no specific treatment whatsoever. In other words, AA has the exact same success rate as... doing nothing. It basically takes those who are committed to quitting anyway, then takes credit for their success when those individuals should be patting themselves on the back, not crediting every improvement to The Program.
The Sinclair Method, another treatment for alcohol addiction (one based on medicine rather than faith) has been shown to have a 78% success rate in getting problem drinkers to reduce their drinking to safe levels, with 25% of those treated quitting altogether. (This is only one alternative to AA, obviously, but it's the easiest to find numbers on so I used it as my example.)
Notice that the militant AA believers such as R22 never back up their assertions with any numbers or other compelling evidence. They just make blowhard statements such as "This is a fact, period." Unlike R22, I don't need to pretend I have all the "facts" because I have evidence to back up what I'm saying. Oh well - what can you expect from people who obtain all their information about alcoholism and its cure from a group that was modeled on an extremist Christian fundamentalist cult called the Oxford Group (another simple FACT that anyone can easily look up).
If someone finds AA useful, then good for them. Hell, if nothing else, it IS a place to go and hang out where no one will be drinking, which can be very helpful in and of itself during early sobriety, or even when trying to reduce drinking substantially. But the AA nazis who pretend they know everything and are entitled to make assumptions/generalizations about substance abusers everywhere are just pulling shit out of their asses. Ignore them, or better yet, ask them to back up their statements with some REAL, unbiased evidence - statements such as "It's just a fact!" or mere anecdotal evidence don't count.
I missed the excitement of not knowing how the night will end, who you'll meet and dancing my ass of at concerts or clubs. Evebtually it gets esier to do some of this sober
Your brain chemistry is still messed up. low dopamine levels leave you with no motivation or feelings of pleasure. Start researching alcoholism and nutrition.
A big thing is to cut out sugar and white flour. it will keep the cravings going.
Here are some ideas at link but there is a lot of info out there. Look up neurotransmitters amino acid therapy too.
L Glutamine under the tongue can help stop a craving
I was never a big drinker but I did use to drink nearly every night, and even everyday. I basically needed alcohol, albeit in small quantities, to have a good time. Basically I'd have one beer an hour, max 3 beers. Or cocktails. Anyway.
I stopped drinking in 2009. Thought I'd neevr have fun in my life.
Last night I went to a concert with an old friend, went to see a band that I used to love back in my drinking days. I had never seen them live. I did not have one drink the whole night. Jumping up and down to that music, seeing them perform and interact with them (I was pretty close to the stage), brought back all those sensations from that era. I did not need one drop of alcohol. And had a grand time.
Dealing with drinking at work
Felt a little sore in the morning, but had the buzz all through the night and a little in the early morning. None of that ugliness that comes from drinking.
I'd do that night again in a heartbeat - drinks not needed.
I'm a drink till I pass out alcoholic, therefore I do not drink. it's a very addictive drug.
However, I do like a puff of 420 now and then. I've never had any addiction issue with grass. I'm very irregular about grass, and I dislike being stoned, however, occasionally a little pot buzz just puts things into perspective. It opens one's mind to other angles of thought.
I was however, a cigarette smoker, and quit when I was up to two packs a day. It hurt my lungs when I was running, and I enjoy running more than smoking. So I quit the nicotine.
Okay, the boredom. Never had it. I'm creative, so I really enjoy drawing, painting, or even imagining in my mind. The problem people may be experiencing is filling in that drinking time, with a non drinking activity. Get a hobby, gardening, art, helping others, crossword puzzles...working out is a wonderful buzz.
Changing your routine, habits and ultimately, your way of thinking is the toughest part of getting sober from alcohol. Part of it for me, in filling that drinking time, was exercise and cooking...works well together.
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